You wouldn’t have had to be following this blog for that long to know who Walter Breuning is, and if you don’t by now, get off my property. Walter Breuning is the world’s oldest man. Why do I care? Well, four reasons:
1. For the 110th time, I’m weirdly interested in longevity.
2. He’s the world’s oldest man.
3. He was born in the nineteenth century, and not dead.
4. He’s healthy, physically and mentally.
I bring you here today to introduce a fifth reason. One year ago today I made my 100th post, and that post lamented the death of former title holder Henry Allingham. This means, Breuning’s had the title for a whole year. Think about it, a year as the world’s oldest man, outliving everyone above you and many below you, and continued to not die for a year.
And about him? He’s American, even though that would usually bring someone’s status down, I admire him. He never had children (so no likely great-great-great-granddescendants in his lifetime) and his wife died in 1957, when he was like 60. He never remarried, being sceptical of the merits of second marriages (this sad set of circumstances reminds me of the guy in The Green Mile who lived for a really long age to have everyone he loved die before him – except possibly the mouse). He can sort of walk, have memories from when he was like 3, and is on no prescribed medication. These qualities expand on point 4., as there is justification for him living for another year (alas, supercentenarians tend to randomly die).
I can understand you not appreciate the significance of this state of affairs as I do, but that’s because everyone has different opinions and yours are wrong.
1. For the 110th time, I’m weirdly interested in longevity.
2. He’s the world’s oldest man.
3. He was born in the nineteenth century, and not dead.
4. He’s healthy, physically and mentally.
I bring you here today to introduce a fifth reason. One year ago today I made my 100th post, and that post lamented the death of former title holder Henry Allingham. This means, Breuning’s had the title for a whole year. Think about it, a year as the world’s oldest man, outliving everyone above you and many below you, and continued to not die for a year.
And about him? He’s American, even though that would usually bring someone’s status down, I admire him. He never had children (so no likely great-great-great-granddescendants in his lifetime) and his wife died in 1957, when he was like 60. He never remarried, being sceptical of the merits of second marriages (this sad set of circumstances reminds me of the guy in The Green Mile who lived for a really long age to have everyone he loved die before him – except possibly the mouse). He can sort of walk, have memories from when he was like 3, and is on no prescribed medication. These qualities expand on point 4., as there is justification for him living for another year (alas, supercentenarians tend to randomly die).
I can understand you not appreciate the significance of this state of affairs as I do, but that’s because everyone has different opinions and yours are wrong.
Don’t die on me! Or I’ll have to make another goddamn post.
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